Fortune Teller Jayfeather
by Nightwing246
Summary: FOLLOW JAYFEATHER ON AN AMAZING JOURNEY THRU HIS LIFE AS A FORTUNE TELLER IN A STARCLAN MALL! YOU CUOLD GET HIRED TO BE HIS SLAVE TOO JUST READ INSIDE TO FIND OUT HOW, GOOD LUCK BECAUSE YOUR GONNA NEED IT... A. LOT.
1. Chapter 1

**THE GREAT FORTUNE TELLER... NOT**

Jayfeather padded outside his den putting up a sign outside his den that said:

NOT HIRING! SALARY IS ZERO DOLLARS BUT YOU GET A FORTUNE EVERYDAY! INFINT CATS ARE ALOWD TO JOIN... NO TWOLEGS PLEASE. DANKS FOR READING THE WHOLE SIGN... I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO... I HAVE A LOT OF DOT DOT DOTS...

"Hope this works." Jayfeather sighed, returning his den.

Two she cats called Silverclaw and Goldengaze stopped to read his sign.

"Now hiring." Silverclaw read "A FORTUNE EVERY DAY? OHMERGOSH LETS TRY TO GET THIS JOB!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?" Goldengaze squealed. "NO MORE NEEDING TO STEAL MONEY FROM THIS STARCLAN MALL!"

The she cats entered the den and gasped at the sight of a cat holding a bamboo stick covered entirely in moss with a glowing rock in the middle of the room.

"Do you want your fortune now?" Jayfeather asked mysteriously.

"Ya." Silverclaw replied. "Is it in cash or credit?"

Jayfeather blinked back in surprise. "No not like that fortune... Like a future telling fortune mousebrain..."

"Whatevs." Goldengaze meowed. "WE WANT THIS JOB!"

"Ok let me get your uniforms." Jayfeather went to the back of his den and came out with-

"ITS THE FORTUNE TELLING ARMOR THATS CLOUD BRAND!" Silverclaw yowled. "THOSE COST LIKE LIKE TEN MILLION DOLLARS JUST BECAUSE ITS CLOUD BRAND."

"I KNOW RIGHT? LIKE ITS ALL PURPLE AND GOES DOWN TO MY PAWS AND EVEN COMES WITH AN AWESOME HAT!" Goldengaze yowled back.

"Shut up." Jayfeather growled. "Now when a customer comes, just welcome them into my den."

A moment later Hollyleaf entered Jayfeather's store/den. "Hey bro can I-"

"WELCOME HELLO WELCOME HI HALLO WE'RE NOT WIERD AT ALL PLEASE COME IN!" Goldengaze mewed.

"Oh, ok.." Hollyleaf answered sprinting away from Goldengaze. "JAYFEATHER are those your servants?"

Jayfeather nodded and flicked his tail towards me. "That's the annoyingsilverjayfeatherslave. And that yellow tabby is the Goldenhighpitchedkitlikejayfeatherslave."

Jayfeather's mean. "Soooo have you come here to get your fortune from Jayfeather?" I asked.

"Yup." Hollyleaf said.

Jayfeather stared at the glowing rock then said "You had a very hard life Hollylame."

"Hollylame?" Hollyleaf hissed. "And I already knew my life was hard thank you very much." And with that she left Jayfeather's shop.

"OOOH OOH GIVE US OUR FORTUNE NOW!" Goldengaze demanded.

"I predict that your both extremely annoying." Jayfeather grumbled.

* * *

**Jayfeather's new sign:**

**TO GET HIRED JUST REVIEW WITH YOUR**

**GENDER, AGE, APPEARANCE AND PERSONALITY! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Jayfeather's AMAZING FORTUNES**

"Jayfeather is it ok if Goldengaze and I go to Honeyfern's Candy den to buy some of her signature delicious honey?" I asked.

"FINE SILVERCLAW IF YOU MUST." Jayfeather yowled.

Goldengaze cocked her head at Jayfeather. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Jayfeather growled. "Just an allergy I have that makes my tail itch so much!"

"Whatevs." I said. "COME ON GOLDY WE GET TO EAT HONEY!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT?" Goldengaze laughed.

"Wait what? Can you here me?" I asked.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT?" Goldengaze laughed.

"Goldengaze is a mousebrain!" I hissed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT?"

"Silverclaw, me and I are amazing she cats." I boasted.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT?"

"Your creepy..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA I KNOW - what?"

"FINALLY!" I sighed in relief. "Back to normal. COME ON LETS EAT SOME CANDY!"

"OH MY STAR CLAN!" Goldengaze screeched. "YAYAYAYAY LETS GO" We bolted out of Jayfeather's store.

* * *

**Jayfeather's POV **

"Crazy she cats" I muttered. "They didn't even ask if I was ok. Oh Jayfeather we're so worried! That tail of yours much itch badly." Not a word about how my tail was feeling.

"Hey Jayjay!" A cat meowed. "I'm here with some other cats to sign up for this job."

"We're Mistycloud, Amberleaf and Moonmist." Amberleaf said.

"Alrighty... I'm gonna get your uniforms be right back!" I answered. Since when did cats actually start noticing my store? Let alone a whole bunch of cats trying to get the job!

* * *

Back to my POV, Silverclaw!

"HONEYFERN GIMME MORE HONEY!" Goldengaze yowled uncontrolably. "MORE!"

"Honeyfern I'm so very sorry for ever bring Goldy here." I apologized.

"Oh it's nothing." Honeyfern replied.

"I see you've got her under control so I'll be leaving now... BYE!"

Honeyfern glared at me coldly as I left her store, also leaving her with a crazy Goldengaze.

. . .

"Hey Jayfeather ooooohhhhh did you hire new cats?" I asked.

Jayfeather nodded.

"I'm Moonmist nice to meet you." Moonmist meowed.

"I-I'm Amberleaf." Amberleaf whispered shyly.

"Mistycloud here, shake a paw." She said proudly holding out her paw. I shook her paw.

"Well I think you all look amazing in your fortune telling armor." I complimented.

"You know what I think? We should have job rankings Based on your knowledge. You can get one mouse point every right answer given. One mouse point is an apprentice, zero is a kit, eight mouse points is a warrior and 18 mouse points is a senior warrior!" Jayfeather said quickly.

"Works for me." Mistycloud replied.

"Then it's settled." Jayfeather purred.

"Oh wow. Jayjay purred!" Goldengaze yowled in shock.

What? "GOLDY where in the name of star clan did you come from?" I hissed.

"Oh she probably came from TIGERSTAR'S MAJESTIC MAKEUP store."

**"Ok it's time for the first question that can get you 2 Mouse points!" Jayfeather meowed. "Who works at Tigerstar's shop?"**

**Note from author- I obviously can't guess but here's a hint. It's either someone he loves, or a really annoying cat. Review your answers! And if you still want to join, the first chapter tells you how at the bottom. **

**goldy: GOOD LUCK PPEEPPPPPSSSSS**


	3. Chapter 3

**Goldengaze and Silverclaw has created a new way to annoy jayfeather! YAY!**

**P.S. Goldengaze wrote the top half of the chapter and I, the amazing silverclaw wrote the rest.**

* * *

**Leopardbreath and Blazefur and Featherwing will be hired first thing next chapter kk?**

"My tail is soooooo itchy!" Jayfeather yowled, itching his tail madly.

"Omg, ok ttyl!" Silverclaw meowed into her Cloud brand cell phone.

"WHAT?!" Jayfeather hissed. "TTYL? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

"OMS, JAY JAY SBSAPFU!" Goldengaze screeched

Jayfeather banged his head against the wall in annoyance.

"Stop being such a pink fluffy unicorn!" Mistycloud growled.

A black tom stepped into the store. "Am I bothering you Jaypoop?"

"Yes. NO ONE IN THE NAME OF A PINK FLUFFY UNICORN DANCING ON RAINBOWS CALLS ME JAYPOOP." Jayfeather muttered while clamping his tail between his fangs in a last hope to ease his tail itch. "Unless you want to get hired."

"That's exactly why I'm here." The tom meowed. "I'm Blackclaw."

"Go get a uniform from the back of my den and start cleaning my Mighdnight pooped floor." Jayfeather demanded.

"Hi... I want to get this job too." A she cat said. "My name is Dawnlight."

"Follow me and I'll tell you what to do." Amberleaf whispered. "Come on then!"

"Hey Moonmist what's the answer to last week's question?" Silverclaw asked.

"Why are you asking her?" Jayfeather hissed. "The answer was stargleam."

"Congrats your ranked as an apprentice in this shop now!" Amberleaf purred. "The rest of us are still ranked as kits though..."

"Silverclaw bring them on a field trip to a store as long as it's not this one." Jayfeather ordered.

* * *

SILVERCLAW'S MAJESTIC POV!

"Who is they?" I asked.

"The cats who work here duhhhhh." Jayfeather groaned. "You know, Goldengaze, you, Amberleaf, Mistycloud, Moonmist, Blackclaw and Dawnlight."

"All cats gather around uhhh me for a field trip meeting!" I yowled.

"A field Trip? To where?" Blackclaw questioned. "IS IT TO IVYPOOL'S SPY SCHOOL?"

I looked outside of Jayjay's store. There was Honeyfern's Candy shop, And... TIGERSTAR'S MAJESTIC MAKEUP SALON! "We're going to my the store that my crush owns I MEAN NOT MY CRUSH JUST TIGERSTAR'S STORE." I announced.

"OOOOHHHHHH SILVER LIKES TIGERSTAR!" Dawnlight teased.

"SHUT UP!" I growled. "Let's go."

We padded out of Jayjay's store and walked to TIGERSTAR'S MAJESTIC SHOP.

"We're here." Moonmist Sighed. "To a dark forest shop."

"Tigerstar is an amazing cat and everyone never understood him because all he ever wanted was power to make the clans better!" I hissed.

Mistycloud scoffed. "Yeah right he's amazing like he totally killed a whole bunch of innocent cats for the good of the clans."

"NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HIM!" I screeched as I launched myself at Mistycloud.

"No need to fight ladies." Tigerstar meowed. "Is this a field trip? Because if it is I gladly welcome you into my salon."

"Thank you." I purred.

* * *

Jayfeather's POV.

I don't understand how Silverclaw is in love with that monster Tigerstar! Maybe she's from the dark forest! But she is a great sales cat...

"JAYJAY!" Goldengaze screeched. "BEST FIELD TRIP EVER!"

"Glad you enjoyed it." I muttered. "I have a new rule. Everyone will take shifts except for my deputy For this shop. I now name Silverclaw and Goldengaze to be my new deputies!"

"Silverclaw! Goldengaze! Silverclaw! Goldengaze!" The cats cheered.

"Both of them will turns making up questions for mouse points! This week Goldengaze will come up with the answer so she cannot guess." I Yowled. "And also, this week's question equals 10 mouse points. The question is: Is GOLDY Serious, always angry, always sad or is she BFF'S with a unicorn if so, which unicorn?

**MUST READ WHATS BELOW!**

**Shifts: Goldengaze, Moonmist and Amberleaf. **

** Silverclaw, Dawnlight and Blackclaw.**

** Mistycloud, Goldengaze and Silverclaw.**

**Mouse points:**

**Everyone has zero except for 2 points for Moonmist.**


	4. Chapter 4

" Listen up, Mindless slaves!" Jayfeather yowled, " I AM IN A HAPPPPY MOOD, SO U ALL GET A DAY OFF!"

" wow," Silverclaw whispered." First time..."

Goldengaze`s eyes lit up, " FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER, THERE WILL BE MUSIC, THERE WILL BE LIGHTS! FOR TH-"

Silverclaw groaned, along with the rest of the employees.

"LET IT GOOOOOO LET IT GOOOOO WE ALL KNOW THE BIG SECRET, LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOOOO WE ALL KNOW JAYJAY IS FROM THE DARK FORESTTTTTTT!" Goldengaze sang.

"STOP!" Four she cats screeched In unison.

"WHAT THE FLAPPY UNICORN DO YOU WANT?" Jayfeather screeched - happily. "No please, come in and enjoy some Thistleclaw homemade tea BTW there's extra thorns too!"

"We want the job." A she cat said. "I'm Sparrowstrike along with Blazefur, Leopardbreath and Featherwing."

"WHERE IS ME CHEESECAKE?" Leopardbreath cried. "I HAVENT HAD ONE IN A FEW MINUTES!"

"NOT IN A FEW MINUTES? EVERYONE FIND HER A CHEESECAKE OR SHE'LL EXPLODE!" Featherwing yowled.

"We'll get one in no time!" Amberleaf assured.

"The fastest cat should go to Purdy's Cheesecake bakery!" Mistycloud ordered.

Dawnlight rolled her eyes. "Who made you the leader?"

"We have to hurry!" Blazefur yowled.

"I'm the fastest so I'll go." Blackclaw said. "In return for a date with one of you she cats."

"NO WAY!" Goldengaze screeched. "DONT YOU EVEN THINK OF DATING A FLUFFY UNICORN!" Goldengaze leaped at Blackclaw tearing out clumps of his fur at once.

"Oooohhhh someone get some of Poppyfrost's popcorn!" Moonmist squealed. "This is fun!"

Everyone was too distracted by Goldengaze and Silverclaw killing Blackclaw that no one noticed Leopardbreath about to explode. BOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

"WHO MADE THE PRETTY FIREWORKS SOUND?" Jayfeather purred.

"I got cheesecake!" Amberleaf announced.

Blazefur rushed over and grabbed the cheesecake. "EAT IT LEOPARD!"

"Ughhhh." Leopardbreath groaned. "What happened."

"Everything's fine now." Mistycloud meowed.

"LEZ GO TO HONEYFERN'S CANDY SHOP!" Goldengaze screeched.

"Noooooooo." Dawnlight meowed. "Last time you a almost killed Tigerstar's planner."

"Halp..." Blackclaw wheezed.

Blazefur sighed. "Blacky you did this to yourself."

"Oh you mean Tigerstar's party for the dark market opening?" Silverclaw asked.

"WHAT?" Jayfeather yowled. "SO YA KNOW THAT IM PLANNING TO TRADE MISTYCLOUD ILLEGALY?"

"Oh you wouldn't dare." Mistycloud snarled.

"How about we all go and trade stuff?" Moonmist suggested.

"YESSSSS I BID 10000000000000000000000 DOLLARS FOR TIGERSTAR!" Silverclaw screeched.

"Hey I'm Mosscloud can I get-"

"A job?" Jayfeather finished. "First lemme give you a fortune. I SEE... THAT YOU WILL BE EATEN BY A PURPLE FISH THAT CAN FLY AND IS SCOURGE'S KIN AND EATS RAINBOW CARROTS THATS ALSO IN LOVE WITH YOU AND WATCHES MY LITTLE PONY AND AND AND AND AND AND IS GONNA EAT YOU!"

"Uhhhhh carrying on now, this chapters question is: how old am I? I'm 180-186 years old...

**Moonmist and Silverclaw and Mosscloud got the question right so now moony has 12 points and I have 10 and mossy has 10 points tooooooo**


	5. Chapter 5

**YAY! We're BACK!:D **

* * *

** "**BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY LOLLYGAGS!" Jayfeather hissed.

"OMS! DO YOU MEAN WE GAG LOLLYPOPS?!" Goldengaze yowled back, starting to cry.

"Honestly, why did I even hire you?!" Jayfeather said, rolling his eyes.

"CUZ` U CRAY CRAY!" Leopardbreath screamed, stuffing her face with cheezycakes. (yum!) "DIS CHEEZEH CAKE TASTES LIKE BUTTERFLY'S!"

Jayjay groaned like a fluffy narwhal. "Well, anywho we have three new guests."

"IZIT A TOWEL WRAPPED IN BALOONNYYYY POOP?" Goldengaze yowled with her eyes starting to roll different ways. "MUAHAHAHAHAHA... butteee flee... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The cats in the room just stared.

Goldengaze: *derp,drools*

"As I was saying," Jayfeather growled. "Our new members of Rock/stickclan are Smallpaw, Hailstrike and Swiftdash. FYI GUYZEZ ONLY 2 MORE CATS ARE ALOUD TO JOIN AND WE WILL START THE SHIFTS FROM NOW ON! THIS WEEK GOLDY, SILVER, DA NEW CATS AND CHEEZE MANIAC WILL JOIN!"

"pumpernickel..." Goldengaze muttered, practicing a roundhouse side kick. "And bacon"

"BACON?" Hailstrike shouted, trampling a very hurt Blackclaw. "Where?!"

"**BACON?!"** Now all the cats in the mall was trampling over poor Blackclaw.

"help...me..." Blackclaw whimpered out.

"Oh...um...are you okay?" Swiftdash mumbled quietly, crouching next to him.

"Yeah but-"

"HEY SWIFTDASH! IF YOU DONT GET YOUR LAZY TAIL OVER HERE, THERE`LL BE NO BACON LEFT!" Hailstrike yowled, stuffing herself with bacon.

"WUT?! NUUUUU!" Swiftdash said suddenly forgetting the injured tom.

Smallpaw facepalmed and sighed. "Seriously guyz why cant we just all get along and-"

"HEY WHO MADE YOU LEADER?" Mistycloud yowled.

"HEY WHO MADE YOU LEADER MISTYCLOUD?" Dawnlight growled.

"WHO ATE ALL THE BACON?" Blazefur and Moonmist screeched at the same time.

Amberleaf quickly grabbed a first aid kit and rushed to Blackclaw. "Ok lets see.. A few infections, head split open, all fur ripped off... All good Blackclaw! Just rest forever and you'll be fine." Featherwing smiled. "Awesome right?"

"SPARROWSTRIKE GO KILL GOLDY!" Mosscloud demanded.

Sparrowstrike purred and leaped onto Goldengaze. "IT'LL BE MY PLEASURE TO KILL THIS BACON MANIAC!"

"OH NO YOU WON'T!" Goldy snarled. "THE BACON MANIAC AND CHEESE MANIAC ARE DANCE PARTNERS!"

"DATS RIGHT!" Leopardbreath hissed.

Jayfeather slammed his kawala-rokeiowjcnwejc-bamboo-stick onto his head multiple times until Silverclaw had finally knocked him out with a bacon cake.

"BACON!" Goldengaze screeched. "CAKE!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW DANCE PARTNER!" Leopardbreath screeched back.

Goldengaze nodded then screeched, "LEZ DO THE FLUFFY NARWHAL!"

Both she cats dropped to the ground pretending to be narwhals out of water-with a fluffy coat on. Thats how you do the fluffy narwhal dance!

Swiftdash: *DJs*

NO ONE GOT THE QUESTION RIGHT FROM LAST TIME! THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: IS BLACKCLAW GOING TO DIE OR NOT?!

* * *

SHIFTYS!:B :

Goldengaze, Silverclaw, Sparrowstrike, Leopardbreath

Silverclaw, Goldengaze, Featherwing, Blazefur, Blackclaw (assuming he lives...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!)

Dawnlight, Silverclaw, Moonmist, Hailstrike

Goldengaze, Silverclaw, Smallpaw, Hailstike, Swiftdash!:D


	6. Chapter 6

**Goldengaze, Silverclaw, Sparrowstrike, Leopardbreath are the shifts dis chapter!**

* * *

"GOLDY STAP TRYING TO BREAK INTO THE HONEY JAR!" Jayfeather yowled madly.

Leopardbreath was about to stuff a whole cheesecake in her mouth when she saw Silverclaw glaring at her.

"NO. LEOPARD. PUT. DOWN. CAKE." Silverclaw screeched. "OR ELSE I WILL USE**_ THE_ **GIFT CARD."

Sparrowstrike looked terrified at the mention of THE gift card. "You wouldnt use it!"

"OH YES I WOULD! I SWEAR TO THE LOLLYPOP GAGGERS I WILL USE IT!" Silverclaw laughed. Goldengaze started to cry randomly and danced like a fluffy narwhal.

"BUT I WANT TO EAT JAYFEATHER!" Leopardbreath yowled.

"NUUUUUUUUU! I WANT TO HAVE DOVEY HATS!" Goldengaze yowled back.

"BUT I WILL STILL USE DA GIFT CARD OF MAJESTICNESS!" Silverclaw screeched the loudest. All eyes turned to Silverclaw in fear of _**THE**_ giftcard of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

"UMMMM... SO WUT IZ DIS GIFT CARD?" Sparrowstrike asked. Now all eyes turned to her... Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and Again... and-

"HOW DARE YOU IN THE NAME OF TIGERSTAR NOT KNOW WUT _**THEEEEEE** _GIFT CARD IS?!" Leopardbreath asked in awe. "ITZ DA JAYJAY GIVES YOU A MAKEOVER DISCOUNT CARD OF COURSE!"

Goldengaze started to screech randomly, her paws going every where like...um...a PINK FLUFFY UNICORN OF NARWHAL-NESS! ( yeah... that makes sense...)

"THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO FIRESTAR WHEN I USED THEEEEEEE GIFT CARD!" Silverclaw answered with a shudder.

"HE WAS BALD..."

"HIS TAIL WAS PURPLE..."

"SANDSTORM KILLED ME FOR USING IT..."

"HIS HEAD IS NOW A RAINBOW JUST LIKE... STAR-ST-STAR-GLE-STARGLEAMMMMMMMMMMMM..."

Now all the cats shrieked and covered themselves with buckets of glitter.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! WORST OF ALL...HE STARTED TO- TO...TO...HATE...W-WA-W-WAFF-WAFFL-_**WAFFLES**_!" Goldengaze cried, creating a ocean of glitter. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHMMMMERRRGISHHHHHH! GLITTER SEA SHELLLLS AND... IS THAT- A SEA SHELL TREEEE?"

"RUUNNNNNN" Sparrowstrike screeched with Leopardbreath.

Everybody ran out of the mall, screeching their heads off, into the sparkly ocean.

"_**THE** _JAYFEATHER IS COMING! _**THE** _JAYFEATHER IS COMING!" Leopardbreath warned.

* * *

**_Back in jayjay's store..._**

"OOOOHHHHH PRETTY SEASHELL TREEEEE ME WATER IT WITH SPARKLES!" Goldengaze chuckled insanely.

Jayjay walked in, his rainbow stick making dovey hats.

Goldengaze jumped out of her fur, and sped away yowling her head off, "AHHHHH! I DONT WANT TO HATE WAFFLEZ!"

Jayjay shrugged and sat next to the seashell tree. Only to find that the seashell tree was also running away from him...

_**DUN DUN-W-WA-W-WAFF-WAFFL-WAFFLEZ!**_

_AUTHOR`S NOTE: no we do not do drugs... maybe..._

**_question: are the authors in a mental substitute ?_**


	7. Chapter 7

**Silverclaw, Goldengaze, Featherwing, Blazefur, Blackclaw (assuming he lives...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!) are the shifts thus chapter!**

**Happy 4th of July! Also, **

**_NO MORE CATS ARE LOUD TO JOIN_**

**The new cats Whalerainbow and Greyclaw will come in Next chapter :P**

* * *

"WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY?" Jayfeather yowled.

"THERES FINALLY MORE THAN ONE TOM BEING HIRED!" Blackclaw yowled back.

"BLACKCLAW IS ALIVEEEEEEEEEE," GOLDENGAZE SCREECHED LOUDLY,

'AHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAH! NOT FOR LONG!' She thought, evilly.

"Its the fourth of July for two legs." Silverclaw answered.

"CORRECT!" Jayfeather screeched.

"WHALERAINBOW AND GREYCLAW ARE THE LAST CATS ALOUD TO JOIN!" Blazefur yowled.

"CORRECT"

"THEY'RE BOTH TOMS," Featherwing screeched.

"CORRECT"

"Your all crazy." Silverclaw sighed.

"CORRECT,"

"Wait a sec, if Blackclaw's alive that means one thing! KILLLLLL HIM EVERYONE,"

Goldengaze quickly used her narwhal friends' help to make a bacon canon and loaded it with spicy bacon!

Silverclaw got her nail sharpener she got from Tigerstar and started to sharpen her claws.

Featherwing got feathers and made a bird bone sling shot.

Blazefur caught on fire.

Jayfeather... Made more doves hats.

"ATTACK," Silverclaw yowled.

The bacon canon shot out 20spicy bacon per second, Silverclaw clawed him 20 times per second, Featherwing shot 20 feathers per second, Blazefur caught on blue fire... Weird.. And Jayfeather started to make tansy hats!

There was smoke everywhere and once it cleared everyone was covered in spicy bacon.

"AHHHHHHHHHH TOOOOOO SPICYYYYYYY IT HURTSSSSSSSSSS LIEK ALICE IN WONDERLAND!" Jayfeather Screeched.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! HE'S STILL ALIVE!" Goldengaze yowled, shooting spicy bacon everywhere.

All of the cats stuffed themselves, pigging out. ( Goldengaze: HAHA! get it?) (Silverclaw: Um.. Yes? No? I've no idea...") (Jayfeather: OF COURSE I GET IT HAHAHAHAHA!) (Silverclaw: ginormous face palm)

"GOLDENGAZE AND SILVERCLAW! GO TO LIONBLAZE`S BLAZEY POPS, AND GET SOME FIREWORKS!" Jayfeather said, his mouth full of bacon.

The two she cats ran out of the den and bought two fireworks. A narwhal surfing while eating cheese firework, and a mystery firework which contained a random type of firework... MUAHAHAHAHA!

"JAYJAY WE GOT DA FIREWORKIES!" Goldengaze yowled.

"THE MYSTERY ONE OR THE NARWHAL ONE?" Silverclaw asked.

Jayfeather screeched, "BOTH AT ZE SAME TIME LAMP BRAINS!"

"OOOOOHHHHHH WE'RE LAMP BRAINS? I'VE ALWALYS WANTED TO BE ONE!" Featherwing yowled.

The fireworks exploded all at once in a fury of rainbows. Narwhals surfing while eating cheese started to eat spicy bacon which caused them to catch on fire which caused Blazefur to have a 'Im on fire' party with the narwhals...

The other mystery firework happened to be a Fourth of July firework full of red, white and blue cheese cakes. Oh Leopardbreath would love this!

"DIEEEEEE BLACKKKKKCLAWWWWWWW!" Goldengaze screeched.

* * *

**_UPDATED SHIFTS WITH WHALERAINBOW AND GREYCLAW_**

Goldengaze, Silverclaw, Sparrowstrike, Leopardbreath

Silverclaw, Goldengaze, Featherwing, Blazefur, Blackclaw (assuming he lives...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!)

Dawnlight, Silverclaw, Moonmist, Hailstrike, Whalerainbow, Greyclaw

Goldengaze, Silverclaw, Smallpaw, Hailstike, Swiftdash!:D


	8. Chapter 8

**Shifts:Dawnlight, Silverclaw, Moonmist, Hailstrike, Whalerainbow, Goldengaze and Mistycloud too!**

**soooooooooo yeah...ON WITH DA STORY! (this is part 2 of chapter 7...)**

* * *

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mistycloud screeched.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?" Silverclaw screeched in her ear.

"ITZ A..." Dawnlight started, "A RAINBOW WHALE EATING WASABI BACON!"

Whalerainbow made a monkey sound and flopped around on the ground-WHILE BREATHING FIRE...

Hailstrike gasped and toppled over into a pile of bacon. Goldengaze saw the bacon, and ran over to the pile screeching like an ape.

"MMMMMYYYYY BACON!" Moonmist cried. "GO AWAY GOLDENGAZE!"

A rabbit with a bamboo stick hopped into the store with Jayfeather in a pink fluffy dress chasing after it. (image jayjay in a dress. *shudders*)

"GIMME MY BAMBOO STICK BACK!" Jayfeather yowled. A seashell tree appeared and the rabbit and jayjay fell into it.

"LETS BE IDIOTS AND JUMP INTO A SEASHELL TREE! I CALL BEING JAYJAY IN BAMBOOLAND!" Goldengaze laughed.

"I'd rather not-" SIlverclaw growled as Goldengaze pulled all the cats into the tree.

All became dark..

...

"WHERE AM I?" Hailstrike screeched.

"BAMBOOLANDIA!" Whalerainbow chirped.

Everyone looked at Jayfeather in a pink fluffy princess dress. They were also all in mc donalds...

"WELL THIS IS A DIFFERENT WONDERLAND!" Mistycloud meowed.

A black car drove in. "IS DIS DA DRIVEY THU?"

"NOOOOOOOOO" Dawnlight screeched.

"OK." The black car answered and then drove thru the wall.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Goldengaze yelled, turning into a fluffy unicorn. " YOU HURT THE WALL, NOW YOU MUST DIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She screeched, headbutting the poop car.

* * *

**meanwhile Silverclaw is teaching Jayjay how to text...*shivers* that dress tho...**

"...yup"

"so you mean I can touch a letter, and it will appear on the screen?!"

*sigh*

" And I can make faces like this!:D"

*paw palms*

" ITZ MAGIC!" Jayjay yelled, shedding happy rainbow whale tears.

" I cant work with this..." Silverclaw grumbled.

* * *

Every cat was watching Goldengaze battling the car...except for Moonmist who was stuffing herself with bacon.

" GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOLDENY!" Mistycloud shouted, eating rainbow clouds.

" MY LITTLE PONY, SKINNY AND BONEY WENT TO THE PARK TO PLAY!" Silverclaw shouted.

" STEPPED ON A WIRE, CAUGHT ON FIRE!" Hailstike continued.

" MY LITTLE PONY NO MORE!" Whalerainbow finished.

Goldengaze punched the car, than the car ran over Goldeny.

Goldengaze grabbes a chainsaw.

" AHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHHAHA!" She laughed, smiling like crazy. Slicing the car in half, while eating a Jayjay and dove hat nugget.

" IT TASTES SOOOOOOO GOOD!" Moonmist muttered, turning fatter from the bacon.

everybody stopped and turned to Moonmist, who was dumping the platter of bacon all over herself.

"BACK TO THE BATTLE!" whalerainbow screeched, eating Mousefur`s mousey popcorn.

" FALCON PUNCH!" Goldengaze shrieked. * Falcon helmet drops on her head*

" EVERYBODY RUN!" Mistycloud yelled.

*explosion*

* * *

**_UPDATED SHIFTS WITH MISTYCLOUD  
_**

Goldengaze, Silverclaw, Sparrowstrike, Leopardbreath, Mistycloud  


Silverclaw, Goldengaze, Featherwing, Blazefur, Blackclaw

Dawnlight, Silverclaw, Moonmist, Hailstrike, Whalerainbow, Goldengaze THIS WEEKS SHIFT  


Goldengaze, Silverclaw, Smallpaw, Hailstike, Swiftdash, Greyclaw  


**Cats of Randomness**

Riftshard


End file.
